I think I died a long time ago.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
