I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
