dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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