And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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