I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
