I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
