just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
