I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
