Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize