HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
