In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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