And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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