Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
