My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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