I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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