i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize