lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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