Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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