He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
