My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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