I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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