Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize