If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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