We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
