hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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