how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
