goodnight i made you a song goodbye
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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