he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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