win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
