I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
