Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I booty called her while she was in labor.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
