Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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