hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
