What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
