So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize