There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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