im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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