I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
