But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
