Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
