Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
