just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
