I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
