she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
