While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
