i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
