Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
