the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
