my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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