Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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