Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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