Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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