yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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