You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
