it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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