I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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