he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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